Saturday, October 29, 2016

what you can do

 - What do you do on rainy Saturday afternoons ?

- I get my favorite list playing, uncork a white sec, you know the gently tasting kind that has you happily dizzy in about six large sips, I open up my hot sour salty sweet book and get to business.

a smile
- You cook ...

- I do. I open to a random page and recreate whatever dish pops up the closest way possible. It's filled with southeast Asian dishes which means I don't have all the ingredients, but still, it's just for the inspo

- Do you dance to your music?

- I do. I also smoke to my music, and though many people despise that, I find it exceptionally fun.

- Aren't you afraid that your dust will fall into whatever you're preparing?

- Not really. You just have to know how to do it. If you're a chronic smoker by true passion then you don't mess the food up. The dust may fall on your blouse but not in your food.

he looks into my blouse, there is a little hole in it next to a small stain

- Shame for the blouse. I like you in it. What then?

- Then I eat whatever I've prepared. I dance with the food on my mouth, take a sip of wine and lit another smoke.

- Before you finish your lunch ?

- Why yeah, I like to multitask, what's wrong with smoking while eating and drinking? It's not like you will smoke your fork or anything? Plus I don't like sitting down, I like eating while still standing up.

- How long does this take you?

- Until we're sated and a bit drunk.

- Who's we?

- We are ... Us. Me and him.

-  So there's a "we" ... okay ... What then?

- There's no then, but we  make love.

- How ?

- What do you mean, how?

- Has he assisted in your cooking and in doing all you've done.

- He has, he's a crazy ass cook. Quite eager too, he picks up from all the plates and sometimes nibbles on the ingredients he likes. I lick my fingers, not his. He licks his own fingers. I lick from the bowls.

- Does he dance with you?

- U- huh

- Does he drink?

- He outdrinks me, always.

- I see. And then?

- There's no then, but he eats from my plate, I eat from his. We eat and drink off each other's mouths.

- And then?

- I told you there's no then _ we like to multitask _

- Okay, but allow me to say then as a continuance to your story.

- I get it.
We make love.

- What kind of love?

- The kind that you can drink and smoke while at it,  the kind where you get dirty and with your mouth full.

- You mean you speak dirty?

- No, we don't. I like to look into his eyes when he penetrates me because there is no greater thing than watching how his retinas and mouth and cheeks change colors. You cannot witness that appropriately when you speak too much.

- What does he do?

- He investigates me, my reactions, he studies me.

- Is it silent love then?

- No, it isn't. But it's painful to the soul if you know how to do it.

- Do you enjoy this painful to the soul effect?

- I do. I can't even blink.

- Does he enjoy this as well?

- He does. He doesn't blink either.

- What move of his is your favorite?

-  When he uses his fingers I feel like he just shot me in the guts.

- And what of your climax ?

- Ha, you won't get it...

- Try me.

- That's when we're the most verbal.

- What do you say?

- You wouldn't understand, you don't speak Greek.

- Try me.

I speak in my tongue

- Did you understand what I've just said?

- Not really. What does he say in reply?

- I have no fucking clue, I don't speak his language.

-  You don't?

- Why the surprise?

- Okay and ....   do you like it? not knowing exactly what he says?

-  fucks up my head

- shall I try and do the same? we don't speak the same language either.

- you can try but you won't sound the same if you did, in any language...

- what if I speak the same as he does?

- try it

(attempts speech)

his hands ... of a different shape and size
I look at them and see no hands
his arms are soft, his face is handsome
I don't care for handsome
funny ... had we met another time, I would have gone wet in a split second
But
my throat doesn't go dry
and my thighs resist


I'm calm as July sea

-shall I proceed ?

no reply

- do you even like this?



raises an eyebrow ... okay ?
puts on a smile

- I'll play your game.

- so you think it's a game ?

- would you like me to ... ?

no reply,

my chin  goes up,

I click my tongue

- You know you could react  ...

no budge

- what would he do if he were here now?

- nothing, he isn't here.

- Where is he ?

- He's dead

- So what you do on rainy Saturday afternoons ... is ...

- I told you what I do.

- But you just said ...

- that He's dead ? yeah  ...

- So we're talking of ... what? fucking ghosts?

- We are, yes

- So He's your ghost?

- yup

- and are you his?

- I am

- but... why?

-  because you can do whatever you wish with fucking ghosts.

- They never say no , do they?

 - no, they do not .... they only dance and smile
                                 they only dance and smile _














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